the back and behind a metal grill. Conclusion: mildly smelly.

These are made by Fresh-Tech and recently featured at the Computex computer show in Taipei, Taiwan. They can be programmed to display whatever message you don’t want to see, brilliant…

Dear God there’s something so VERY wrong about this…

From American Inventor Spot:

“The water proof briefcase retains an elegant yet durable appearance with high quality Mahogany leather, a strong lightweight aluminum internal structure, and stainless steel bowl with generously equipped sealing lid.

Quietly and discreetly go about your personal “business” anywhere you please with a fold out leather privacy panel which

tucks away neatly to the side when you have completed your multi-tasking. A toilet paper dispenser easily swings out and can be conveniently stored in an inconspicuous storage compartment under the padding [for added discretion] when not in use.

Included with the Gotta Go Briefcase are a small tray with cup holder (clips onto the privacy panel), attachable vanity mirror, and refillable hand sanitizing dispenser. The newspaper and air freshener are not included but recommended.

*Maximum weight capacity is 80 Kilos (approx.175 lbs.). Exceeding the recommended weight will void all warranties and may result in rupture of waste tank, possible bacterial contamination of briefcase contents, and massive stench.”

Thanks, Gizmodo

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This seems more like one of those let’s-see-if-we-can-do-it type things than something of a sillier nature such as the Texas Shaped Waffle Maker or Mickey Mouse Waffle Iron.

Thanks to Engadget for this one.

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The Twirl-a-Squirrel activates when enough weight is placed on the feeder (the idea being a squirrel is heavy enough but a bird isn’t) at which point the squirrel begins to rotate along with the feeder until dizziness, centrifugal force, and the general unpleasantness of the situation overtake the animal and they are slung to the ground at which point they become violently ill and vomit up what little precious bird seed they stole from you for the birds to come along and peck up later

Thanks, Gizmodo

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Northern Ireland Undertaker Jim Clarke has got you covered! Now, through Clarke’s network of cameras and microphones installed in the funeral home, hearse, churches, and graveyard, YOU can be there even if you’re not!

Clarke:

“Our internet option means [mourners] get to become part of a grieving process they might have missed out on. … The pictures are so clear that people watching can see the faces of everyone in the crowd, and hear everything clearly, so they can spot relatives they might not have seen in years…Life moves fast – we’re just trying to adapt to the changing needs of our world.”

“There are families living abroad who can’t afford to fly to funerals, or people who are too sick to go, or busy people who can’t get the time off work,” he told the BBC.

Via Engadget

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Yay!!! And there’s a movie of it in action, too!

Thanks to Gizmodo for this one.

Additional Resources:

Personality And Temporal Lobe Epilepsy

Epilepsy and Literature Reviews On Epilepsy Via Wikipedia

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It’s an earscope, i.e. mini-camera on a wand with a fiberoptic link back to an LCD monitor, that is specifically designed for home use by Joe Consumer. The idea is that, for those that want the ultimatly clean ear (i.e. people with OCD like Monk), you can pay $199 (look what I found on ebay!!!) to have the capability to stick the little fiberoptic wand into your ear and watch in real time so that you can pick away every last bit of wax. Now, as the title says, you KNOW that people are going to get this thing, they’re going to initially use it for its prescribed purpose, and then….they’re going to get curious

The above photo shows the unit with the standard viewer, but as I said there’s also a LCD TV that can be attached to the unit so that you can share the MOST intimate parts of ‘you’ with your friends:

Do you have ANY idea what people are going to do with this thing?

Every orifice on the human body will be subjected to this LED-lit camera-probe thing, small children will ‘examine’ the family cat (or dog) and the animal will most certainly NOT be pleased with the free medical care it is receiving, it will end up going inside the Thanksgiving Turkey, the mechanical innards of all sorts of devices that it was never intended to examine, and who knows what else!

I’ve just looked high and low to try and find the video clip of the TV commercial for this thing–if anyone has it please leave a comment with the link and I’ll put it in this post (with credit to whoever found it, of course)!!

***Ah-ha! The public has responded (someone sent this into Engadget):

Thanks to Gizmodo for this one; also, here’s the link to what I think is the original story: here (Japanese site that appears to be advertising it)

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They target different markets (Hammacher Schlemmer, by the preponderance of ‘oversized display’ and ‘memory improvement’ games/devices, seems to be targeting the senior crowds), but they’re all essentially the same. How many people reading this actually buy stuff from the Sharper Image stores instead of what most of us do: browsing through one at the mall while the gf is looking at clothes, leaving, then buying one of their products you saw in the store off ebay, amazon et al for way less than what they’re retailing it for???

Anyway, I thumbed through the one mom got in the mail today and decided there were plenty of dumbass gadgets in there that qualified as technofarts, so it would probably make for a pretty original blog post (scroll to the end if you want to see, by far, the best one: the secure outdoor cat run, aka ‘cat twinkie cage’):

1. The Flying Alarm Clock : Yeah, now when your alarm goes off in the morning you can be awakened by a spinning propeller bouncing off the ceiling and crashing into your face!!

“This digital alarm clock launches a rotor into the air that flies around the room as the alarm sounds, flying up to 9′ in the air, and will not cease ringing

until the rotor is returned to the alarm clock base, compelling even the most stubborn sleepers to get out of bed on time.

The alarm clock has a continuous snooze function that rings every seven minutes for an entire hour, an easy to read LCD, and a six-button control panel for ease of programming. 3 3/4″ H x 5 1/2″ Diam. (7 oz.) Item 73755 ………………. $39.95″

2. The H.M.S. Beagle Stormglass : For $180 you get some funky stuff in a glass that changes colors occasionally and said color changes may or may not possibly indicate impending inclement weather….hmmm, so you’ve never heard of the weather channel?

“This is the stormglass, a mysterious device used to predict weather since 1750, and employed by Admiral FitzRoy, captain of the H.M.S. Beagle, when he and his lieutenant, Charles Darwin, voyaged to the coast of South America and the Galapagos Islands in 1831 to conduct a hydrographic survey for commerce and naval expeditions by the British Royal Navy. Although how it functions remains a mystery, the stormglass’s ability to predict atmospheric change is well documented. One theory states that the stormglass responds to electromagnetic fluctuations caused by weather and solar storms. The contained liquida mixture of distilled water, potassium nitrate, ammonium chloride, alcohol, and camphorappears cloudy when precipitation is approaching; w hen crystals are visible in the liquid, humid or foggy weather can be expected; a cloudy glass with small stars indicates thunderstorms. The hermetically sealed glass chamber is housed in a handcrafted brass cylinder….”

3. The 9-inch Self-Sustaining Ecosphere : For $500 you get an organic smörgÃ¥sbord of bacteria and algae (but it’s special NASA algae!) in a glass bubble that you get to watch perpetually ferment on your desktop…

“A self-contained, self-supporting ecological system is permanently sealed within this 9-inch diameter, hand-blown borsilica glass sphere. Its careful balance of air, water, plant and animal life was developed as the result of years of NASA research into self-sustaining, bio-regenerative systems where the equilibrium must be maintained for long periods of time, such as long-term space stations. Inside, tiny shrimp feed on bacteria that metabolize organic waste into nutrients for the algae which, in turn, photosynthesize the oxygen needed for the shrimp and bacteria to survive. The life span of the shrimp is up to three years and that of the algae and bacteria is indefinite. 9-inch diameter.”

4. The Talking 12-Language Portable Translator : I realize some people may not see what the problem is here so let me explain: the issue is not with the device itself but with what people (Americans) will inevitably do with it, and that is instead of taking 20 minutes out of their day for a couple weeks to learn a bit of the language spoken in a country they’re going to travel to, they’ll just bring this thing along, type in ENGLISH (it’s so much easier that way!) what they want to say and then silently hold the gizmo in front of some poor native’s face while it spouts out what they want to say for them–this is extraordinarily rude, sadly typical of Americans, and I sincerely hope anyone that tries such a thing in a foreign country gets punched in the face…

“Portable Talking Translator
This is the most versatile talking portable electronic language translator, capable of translating 27,000 useful phrases and 240,000 words into any one of 12 languages…

–$199.95″

5. The Personalized Woven Photographic Image Throw : For only $100 you can have your sworn enemy’s (or you spouse’s) face put on a throw rug so that you can literally step on their face each and every day as you come and go. Kewl. (I realize they’re supposed to be hung on the wall but the fact that it’s still just a rug makes it stupid)

“This is the kit that allows you to transform a favorite photograph into a personalized 300″ sq. throw. Made of 100% cotton, the image you supply to the manufacturer is woven directly into the fabric. You will receive a kit with instructions which details the photographic specifications required for submitting your order. The throw is machine washable and dryer-safe, and the image will not fade.”

6. The Core Muscle Balance Board Trainer : A fancy way of saying ‘this thing that jiggles about while you stand on it and if you don’t move and jiggle with it you fall off–it’s a great workout!!’. Oh, and this mechanical jiggling thing costs $400…

“This training device helps you to exercise hard-to-reach core abdominal and oblique muscles while allowing you to improve balance and coordination without having to go to a gym (see it in action). The board has a non-slip platform with raised rubber toe and heel plates for better traction, and when mounted and activated using the remote control, the board pitches and yaws at three different speeds: slow, medium, or fast, forcing your abdominal muscles to contract in order for you to keep balance, resulting in a low-impact core workout.”

7. The Dermatologist’s Microdermabrasion Vacuum System : $200 Vacuum cleaner that sucks the dead skin cells off your face and then “depositing the powder and exfoliate [dead skin cells] in a sealed collection chamber that can be disposed of after four treatments”, so now you could even start your own dead-facial-skin-cells collection.

“Previously available only in spas and dermatology centers, this is the crystal and vacuum microdermabrasion system that produces healthier, revitalized-looking skin without having to schedule expensive dermatological or salon appointments. In less than 10 minutes, the system reveals radiant facial skin by drawing younger, newer cells to the surface, reducing the appearance of fine lines, minimizing the appearance of enlarged pores, and improving skin tone and texture. As the wand is drawn across the face, it deposits a fine powder of specially-formulated microdermabrasion crystals that exfoliate dead skin cells. When the wand passes over the newly exfoliated skin, the vacuum system draws the old cells and the powder away, revealing healthie r skin cells underneath and depositing the powder and exfoliate in a sealed collection chamber that can be disposed of after four treatments.”

8. The Professional Portable Massage Table : Just WHAT the hell do you need a $400 massage table that folds up into a brief case for?! Are you going to bring your massage table on vacation with you? Would you possibly show up a friends house for some beers and casually mention that you’ve brought your portable massage table with you and would they like a rub-down?!?! I think not! If anyone can think of any possible practical need for a PORTABLE massage table that folds up into a briefcase I’d love to hear it.

“This is the finest quality portable massage table available, and it is offered exclusively by Hammacher Schlemmer. Durable, lightweight, and easy to set up, the spa-worthy table unfolds in one motion, so theres never any struggling with connections, pin-lock systems, joints, or fittings. Three of the sturdiest wrap-around hinges (50% more than many tables) ensure smooth opening and grip the table halves tightly and securely. Full-length underside braces and a hardwood ash frame hold up to 500 lbs. (200 more than its closest competitor) and ensure a surface that wont sag…”

9. The Hovering Hoover Vacuum : Someone decided to stick a hovercraft onto a vacuum and came up with this – brilliant. So the point of this $270 floating sucking kettle-pot is, I guess, that it floats on a cushion of air making it easier to haul around the house? You know, as I see this thing functioning in my mind, having had a remote control toy hovercraft as a kid, I really think that it would tend to keep going, as hovercrafts tend to do, after you stop pulling thereby causing it to continuously bump into things, namely you.

“This is the advanced version of the classic durable stainless steel canister vacuum made by Hoover, renowned manufacturer of cleaning products for nearly 100 years, that floats on a cushion of air generated by its 12 amp motor, the most powerful available, allowing it to follow you effortlessly, unlike conventional wheeled canister vacuums that drag and are difficult to maneuver in tight situations. The deep cleaning turbo power nozzle automatically adjusts to varying carpet thickness, and the nozzles brush roll constantly lifts dirt and extracts the most deeply-embedded pet hair from carpet for easier suction.”

10. The Secure Outdoor Cat Run : This is definitely my favorite! Fluffy keep running away every time he goes out to play but you still want him to be able to go outside?? Ta-da: the twinkie-mesh cat cage is your salvation! Just put Fluffy inside along with the included sand-weights to keep him from rolling off then chuck his ass out the door for a few hours–he’ll have a ball spending the afternoon running back and forth from one end to the other wondering what the f*** he did to deserve this!!

“This cat run provides your indoor pet with a safe environment in which to run and play outside. The run has a sprung-steel frame that opens instantly, and it compresses easily to form a 62″ long strong nylon mesh cylinder, providing a cat, small dog, rabbit, or other pet plenty of space for exercise and fresh air. The run is anchored to the ground by sand pockets (sand not included) and steel pegs; any number of tubes may be zipped together to form longer runs. The run fits easily into its storage bag for travel. 62″ L x 18″ W. (3 lbs.) Item 73761 ………………. $49.95″

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The Tacoma Narrows Bridge is a one mile long bridge stretching over the Tacoma Narrows connecting Gig Harbor, Washington, to Tacoma. What essentially occurred was that the bridge oscillated in the wind due to a phenomenon known as mechanical resonance which quickly caused it to collapse and the whole event was caught on film:

Click here to view the embedded video.

What doomed the bridge was the state’s lack of funding caused by the recommendations of East coast engineers, specifically Leon Moisseiff (helped design Golden Gate and Oakland Bay Bridges), who advised the state to save money by reducing the bridge’s girders from 25 feet deep to 8 feet deep, which caused the roadway to be less stiff and therefore more susceptible to wind-induced oscillation.

The collapse occured on November 7, 1940–the following is an eyewitness account by Leonard Coatsworth:

“Just as I drove past the towers, the bridge began to sway violently from side to side. Before I realized it, the tilt became so violent that I lost control of the car. I jammed on the brakes and got out, only to be thrown onto my face against the curb… Around me I could hear concrete cracking… The car itself began to slide from side to side of the roadway.

On hands and knees most of the time, I crawled 500 yards [450 m] or more to the towers… My breath was coming in gasps; my knees were raw and bleeding, my hands bruised and swollen from gripping the concrete curb… Toward the last, I risked rising to my feet and running a few yards at a time… Safely back at the toll plaza, I saw the bridge in its final collapse and saw my car plunge into the Narrows.”

A new bridge was finished and opened on October 14, 1950, and is still currently in use today with no indications of any malfunctioning. It was designed to handle 60,000 vehicles per day, currently handles 90,000, and is projected to be able to handle 120,000 by 2020.

References and further reading:

Wikipedia article on the Tacoma Narrows Bridge

Thanks to Library Pulse for the photo

‘Learning Through Failure’ from Eide Neurolearning Blog

Televizzle.org’s Article on the Mythbusters’ Earthquake Machine that was tested effectively (relatively speaking) on a bridge that demonstrates the principle of mechanical resonance

Click here to view the embedded video.

Interested in a Smart car (gotcha with that 40+ MPG thing, didn’t I? )? From The Smart Car USA Website:

“1. Who is smart?

Smart is a member of the Mercedes Car Group. smart vehicles are sold in 36 countries throughout the world. Over 750,000 fortwo vehicles have been sold since its introduction. When the United States starts selling the smart fortwo it will become the 37th country.

2. When will smart vehicles be available for purchase in the United States?

The smart fortwo is scheduled to be available in the first quarter of 2008.

a
5. Can I order a smart now?

No, at this time we do not have an ordering process. As soon as a process is established we will notify you immediately if you register as an “insider” here: http://www.smartusa.com/becomeinsider.asp
….

7. What are the exact dimensions?

The smart fortwo is small on the outside and big on the inside. The smart fortwo that will be available in the United States will be: o 8.8 feet long (you can usually fit two smart fortwos in an average parking space!) o 5.1 feet tall (the smart still has as much headroom as most luxury vehicles!) o 5.1 feet wide (two six foot, five inch plus people can sit side by side with plenty of shoulder room to spare!)

8. How fast does the smart fortwo go?

The top speed of the smart fortwo is approximately 90 mph.

9. What is the gas mileage of smart?

Engineering and testing continues to take place on the vehicle that will be produced for the United States. Gas mileage is expected to be 40 plus mpg combined for city and highway.

10. Is the smart vehicle safe?

The safety management system for the smart fortwo is comprehensive and sophisticated. The highlight of the safety management system is the tridion safety cell. The safety cell is made from three layers of steel that are reinforced at strategic points. The cell is designed to keep occupants protected. The reinforced steel and the design of the car allow for the absorption of impact and redistribution of crash energy. Because of the size of the vehicle, most crashes will also involve one of the wheel bases which also absorbs energy. Both doors are also reinforced with steel bars. The smart fortwo, which will be for sale in the United States in 2008, will come standard with four airbags (two front and two side for head and thorax protection). Other safety features such as esp® (electronic stability program) and ABS brakes are also standard.

11. How much space does smart have for storage?

The smart fortwo has a trunk which will accommodate active lifestyles. This area can easily fit numerous bags of groceries, gym bags and other items that are commonly transported every day, including golf clubs! The trunk can also accommodate many sizes of luggage making trips to the airport convenient. The front passenger seat also folds down creating additional space for other items such as skis.”

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